A: Get People Naked! Q: How to Gain Confidence in Conversation?

 
I just read an excellent article from Pick the Brain that reminded me of a simple but VERY important mindset.

Y’see, too often we choke who we really are because we’re afraid of what others might think. And what does that do?

Well, it keeps you quiet and unnoticed in groups. You don’t talk to the attractive person in the elevator because you’re afraid it’ll “come out wrong.” You stick to people you’re comfortable with instead of meeting someone new. And the list goes on and on, right?

Overall this stops you from living the life you want, from living your life to the fullest.

But, by constantly reminding yourself of one simple mindset, you can reclaim your freedom

People Are More Concerned About Themselves than You

It’s true. Nine out of ten, the number one thing on people’s mind is themselves.

Not so sure? Just look at yourself. What do you think about most?

Well, if you’re like most people (myself included) you’re probably thinking about what you’re doing, what you plan to do, how well you’re doing, what it all means for YOU…

Point is, keeping this in mind takes some pressure off your shoulders. Because people are so preoccupied with themselves, they rarely notice or care what you’re doing.

This means you don’t have to act or be perfect. You have lots of leeway to:

You have more freedom to be YOU than you think.

Everyone in the Bar is Naked – the Mindset in Action

I remember a few years ago, I was at a bar with co-workers after work. We were talking in a group and I felt so out of place.

Everyone had something to say, something interesting to contribute. I just felt like I’d sound stupid if I opened my mouth. I kept thinking, “What can I say? What can I say?” But I only faded more into the background.

I walked to the bar for a drink and looked around. Suddenly, I noticed the obvious.

No one was watching me; no one was judging me but ME.

Everyone was more concerned about how they were coming off. They worried what people were thinking about them!

It’s funny, but the realization had that “imagine people as naked” effect. Y’know, like what people tell you to do when you give a speech or something.

It’s like I realized, “Hey, you’re naked too. We’re all in the same boat.”

It chilled me out. I rejoined the group and stopped worrying so much what others would think of me. I focused more on the moment.

Because I was listening now, I noticed more opportunities to speak up. Because I wasn’t so self-conscious, I said the first ideas that came to mind and flowed in what I was saying.

The Skinny Dipping Summary

So next time you’re feeling oppressed, like anything you say or do will be weird, remember you’re probably the only one thinking that.

Everyone has trouble with what to say at times.

We’re all naked. It’s just a matter of jumping in and skinny dipping with the rest of us.

[original article from Pick the Brain]

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