i decided after watching this that enough is enough! I’m tried of going places with my friend and she just talks to anyone and they love her while I”m standing around saying squat. I guess part of my limititng ideas is I wouldnt have anything fun to say. So I dont say anything!! I’m sick of it though. Im so glad you put up these videos i cant wait for the next one. I already have so many ideas of how i’m gonna improve myself and start getting out there more
Good for you Jen! In my experience that’s the first step is making a strong decision you’ll do what ever it takes to improve. After that it’s just a matter of persistence. And I DEFINITELY had the belief nothign I would say would be good enough. Eventually I came to see this wasn’t true…
It was like you were talking about my life when you were sharing your story! Theres so much I can relate to in there. I defenitly stay quite around strangers and in groups. Im always the one standing off to the side not saying much at all. With my friends its different. I can be pretty crazy around them. why is that?! Thanks for sharing!
Well it all goes back to fear of rejection and your beliefs. For example your friends you probably feel it’s unlikely they will reject you. Strangers you’re not so sure though so that fear of rejection really kicks in. And thats why it’s hard to just be natural and laid back with them. But this is stuff we’ll talk more about in the coming videos too
Thanks for this Dean. It’s the first time I hear someone describe, almost exactly, my experience. So, apparently, I’m not the only one!
Well… my limiting thought, on a loop, is telling myself I’m a hopeless social-retard and limiting behaviour is giving up by hiding at home and almost never going out anymore.
no you’re definitely not alone! As you can see this is something that a lot of people go through and I was one of them.my major limiting belief was thinking I was lame in that no one could like me so I can definitely relate
Wow really liking these videos. So much I never even thought about. I know my deal is I just feel like people don’t like me. that they look down on me. How can I get past this?
Excellent advice: thank you. Just got to try and make it work! I agree with the other comments by viewers that what you said about your own issues describes my character, limiting beliefs and behaviours to a T. I don’t think I have anything interesting or worth saying. I feel inadequate when standing alongside those who just get in there and shine. I guess that comes across. The only way I’ve found to combat this before (in small social groups) is by showing interest in the other person – but as you’ve said elsewhere, that’s just one side of keeping a conversation going: I need to put some of myself into that discussion too.
Thanks for this video Dean! I’ve definitely been doing it the hard way, recently whatever I do socially feels unnatural and I feel like I have to be in the perfect state e.g. after intense exercise when I come across as friendlier, before I can approach them for them to like me, or I became really self conscious about their reactions. I think now my limiting beliefs are i won’t have anything useful to say and they’ll just brush me off and it’ll come across as awkward; i’m in a weird state right now so they’ll brush me off whatever i say; they won’t want to be my friend anyway once they get to know me.
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