What aren’t you doing in your life right now because you lack self confidence?
That can be a big question, because self confidence is so vital to happiness and feeling capable in life. Without it, you get less respect from others, you fear going after your dreams, and you just feel lousy about yourself.
And while building “soul-deep” self esteem can take time, there are ways to begin building practical self confidence today. Here are 7 easy tips to start growing your feelings of self worth quick.
Improve Self Confidence
1. Take Up More Space
People who are shy or socially withdrawn tend to take up very little physical space in the world. This makes you seem at best, timid and weak and at worst, invisible. It also makes you feel that way.
So do your best to counteract this habit. Stand with your feet wider apart; use larger gestures with your arms and hands; take up more space on benches and in chairs. Basically, let the world know you’re here. This will make you appear more confident to others while also helping you feel emboldened.
Note for women: While this concept can help you, be careful not to overdo it. There is a fine line between looking more confident and seeming less feminine.
2. Review Your Successes
Create a personal list of successes and review it at least once every two weeks. This helps you silence that inner voice screaming “You’ll never accomplish anything in life.” Also, it balances out all that time we spend replaying our failures and weaknesses.
And you don’t have to list only major successes. My list includes “small-beans” items like being the “master of the monkey bars” in 5th grade and having insightful comments in my college astronomy class.
3. Look Your Best
Simple yet powerful: If you think you look good, you’ll feel more confident about yourself. Subconsciously, looking good means you’ll have one less thing to criticize yourself about. Also, your confidence level will benefit from the subtle positive feedback from other people.
Be sure to stay well-groomed and clean first. Then work on your clothes: Look up the latest clothing styles or browse images of clothing store models for ideas. You don’t have to buy a lot of new clothes if you can’t afford it. A few items that can be mixed and matched (like a quality, stylish pair of jeans) can go a long way.
4. Get Physical
This falls in line with looking your best, but being physically fit can do wonders for your self-esteem. Because if you’re out of shape, you’ll have less energy and feel unattractive. Overall, this makes you insecure. By working out, not only do you feel great in the moment (because of those exercise endorphins), you grow your self-esteem by having the discipline to do something you know you should.
5. Practice Appreciation
In his book, What Happy People Know, Dan Baker Ph.D. suggests your mind can’t process fear and appreciation at the same time. They are opposites. And since fear is at the heart of having low self-confidence, it’s important to practice being grateful for the good things in your life.
Regularly take time to feel gratitude for your family; your friends; the cool or warm weather; the green grass and blue sky; or just the fact you’re alive and have freedom of choice in your life.
6. Hold Good Posture
Consider the different vibes you give off with the following two postures:
- Posture #1: Shoulders slumped, eyes glued to the ground, back slightly arched
- Posture #2: Shoulders and head back, standing tall, making eye contact with people passing by
Posture one tells everyone you’re afraid to face the world; you’re beat down and ineffective. Posture two tells a completely different story. It says you’re confident and capable; you’re aware and ready for whatever comes your way. The best part is, not only does it make others think this about you, it gets you feeling that way inside too.
7. Be Courageous
Really, the ultimate way to build confidence is to be courageous. So often in life, there are things we think we just can’t do. We may think we don’t know what to say around strangers or that we can’t do well in sales.
The secret to building confidence in these areas, and in life, is to DO more of what you fear. The more you do this, the more experience and comfort you’ll build in that area. But of course, it takes courage to do the things you fear. So you get to confidence by being courageous. Just remember to start small and gradually build up your abilities in anything you attempt.
How to Build Permanent Self Confidence
These tips will help you to begin the process to improve your self confidence on a daily basis. But ultimately, what you want is permanent self confidence; the kind where you love yourself deep down and feel certain of your abilities to achieve the life you want. In fact, you can find out what it takes to build this deep and long lasting confidence by watching my free social success video series. Check it out here.
(photo courtesy of vizzual.com via flickr)