How to Use “Emotional Hot Buttons” to Be Interesting And Bond

emotional hot buttonsDo you sometimes struggle to have meaningful conversations?

Like, you get stuck in chit chat mode and just talk those trivial topics to death.

To the point where things start to feel stale…and maybe you’re looking for an exit.

(And you worry they are too.)

Don’t you wish you could make the vibe more exciting? More interesting? So maybe things could move to a deeper level with this person?

Well, a great way amp up interactions and bond with someone new is to introduce emotion into the conversation.

And a slick way to do that is noticing and commenting on “emotional hot buttons.” But you have to be observant to make use of them.

So in today’s article, I’ll give you an example of this technique in action.

Then I’ll explain how you can use it.

[Read more…]

How to Stay Likeable Without Losing Your Beautiful Weirdness

weird and likeableDo you worry what people would think of you if they found out what you’re really like?

Maybe you like World of Warcraft?

Or you’re into Legos?

Do you like anime or science fiction or rare insects?

Or maybe it’s some other hobby or interest that isn’t so mainstream…

Is there a way to be completely honest about these “weird” passions of ours without people thinking less of us?

Because I won’t lie…

Sometimes people can quickly stereotype you in a negative category in their mind. And it can be hard to break out of that category.

So here’s a couple tips to prevent that from happening while still being your full beautifully-weird self.
[Read more…]

The Unexpected Ingredient that Forges Deep Genuine Friendships

Lonely No FriendsBack in my early college days, I was very lonely.

I wasn’t popular in high school and starting fresh with new people was hard. I remember how impossible it seemed to impress strangers enough on campus to be liked and make friends.

Luckily, I had a friend in my roommate. He had his issues with shyness too. But for some reason we suffered through our social isolation separately, even though we lived in the same apartment. We just didn’t talk about it much.

Each too ashamed I guess.

Eventually, I got fed up being ignored socially and started looking for ways to impress strangers and “be liked” by them. And I was sort of successful. I got to the point where I could stand out more and make a good first impression.

This was nice, but for years I still felt cursed. Because even though I could make a good first impression, I was seldom able to turn that into deeper friendships. It’s like I was stuck in acquaintance mode with everyone I met. There was always someone else they connected with more than me.

What I eventually discovered is, I wasn’t doing the ONE thing most important to form friendships.

Are you missing out on friendships too by neglecting this one critical element?

[Read more…]

The Aristotle Guide to Make Friends and Influence People

make friendsAristotle was the man.

He figured out a lot about the human condition before modern psychology (or modern anything for that matter.) Some of his ideas still permeate our modern culture in areas like marketing and the science of persuasion.

In fact, I was watching a video the other day (included below) about his 3 means of persuasion. His argument was, to influence people efficiently, you must include all three of these elements.

What I realized is the three elements also apply to make friends. They serve as a handy guide to get past many sticking points in the friendship building process.
[Read more…]