Since I got so many positive reviews on the free training series I put out recently, I figured I’d put them all on one page for you.
Enjoy!
Dean
[Part1] The Secret To Becoming Well-Liked And Accepted
How different would your life be?
How would it change if you felt certain you could walk up to pretty much anyone…
…start a conversation, and most times have it go great?
What if you had a fun social circle of friends…
…guys and gals who really liked you and invited you places every week?
In my experience, more respect from more people means more opportunity to enjoy life fully.
It means being truly free and empowered socially…
I still remember the first days I finally felt that self-assurance and freedom.
I didn’t have many friends yet…
In fact, I wasn’t super charming or all that successful in life at the time.
The truth is…
…You don’t have to wait until you have an impressive lifestyle to be incredibly well-liked…
…You don’t have to always be smooth and charming or say the “right things”.
It’s much simpler than that! You’re closer than you think to social success.
I finally decided I’d had enough of being shy over 10 years ago, in my second semester of college.
I was tired of feeling alone and left out…
Like I was missing out on my entire life.
It was so frustrating to think I couldn’t get the friends I wanted.
I felt I just wasn’t fun or interesting enough.
It depressed me that I couldn’t be myself around those people no matter how hard I tried.
And always the not knowing what to say…
Hesitating to talk…
Second guessing everything I DID say.
Even worse was feeling insecure with people I already knew.
To the point it felt I was losing them.
I desperately wanted a change.
But I didn’t know what else to do.
I’d heard all the advice like “be yourself” and “get out there.”
But I just couldn’t switch off my self-doubt.
Does this sound familiar?
Once I finally decided I’d do whatever it took to improve socially, I bought every conversation skills book I could find.
I searched online for tips and tricks.
But most of the advice didn’t work for me.
I got overwhelmed with too many techniques in my head at once.
Finally I studied real research like Interpersonal Communication Studies and Social Psychology.
And I learned that only using social tricks and techniques would never lead to the respect and friendships I wanted.
I learned that…
Seems simple and like common sense right?
Yet even when I’ve been invited to write for some of the top personal development sites in the world…
…sites like Dumb Little Man and Pick The Brain…
…I’ve had to stress this fact…
Social respect and acceptance come from real confidence, NOT social tactics.
Confidence where you believe in yourself at a deep level…
Where you don’t care so much if people reject you or not…
I discovered that yes, conversation skills and some strategy are still important.
But you only need a small handful of the right skills to succeed.
Besides, it’s confidence that lets you use these skills effectively anyway.
It took me a long time to figure all this out and longer still to work out how to actually build confidence…
Over 10 years in fact and with a lot of trial and error.
You’ll get there much faster.
- Including strategies I learned working as a social host on cruise ships for 5 years.
- And from performing in an improv comedy troupe (where I discovered how people think fast on their feet).
Alright…
Back to my story and the secret to talking effortlessly in the moment and being more popular.
One of the ways I tried to impress people was memorizing, word for word, crazy conversation starters.
Just suggestions I had found online or in books.
I wasn’t good at it and felt so awkward trying.
I mean sometimes, people responded ok…
…but mostly I’d get weird looks.
Often I couldn’t even bring myself to try.
So I moved on to sharpening more natural social skills. Like eye contact and the framework of conversations.
Now this helped a lot more and I made some connections.
Yet there were still big problems.
- I still had trouble approaching people I didn’t know.
- I still felt nervous and uncertain of myself.
- And because of this, most people saw me as a “nice guy”, but not worth being friends with.
That’s when I found social psychology and discovered what I was doing wrong…
First, I was relying entirely on social tricks and techniques to improve instead of addressing the deeper issues causing my insecurity.
Second, I was trying to impress people and trying to get them to like me. That neediness was one of the things turning others off.
And I was trying so hard because I had a limiting belief I just wasn’t good enough.
Have you ever felt that way?
Well, I realized the right way to get people to accept me was to build true self-respect.
So I didn’t care so much if they liked me or not.
So using the psychological research I found as a guide, I STOPPED focusing on tricks and gimmicks to TRY and get others to like me…
I stopped trying to be perfect…
Instead, I focused on thinking more positive, empowering thoughts about myself on a regular basis.
I worked at cutting out the socially destructive behaviors I was doing without thinking.
And in just a few weeks it happened…
Everyone started treating me different.
- They listened when I talked and seemed to value what I said
- They seemed genuinely excited to spend time with me
- Our conversations flowed more easily and felt fun
And most importantly, I FELT different.
- I was more sure of myself and certain what I said would come across fine
- And if it didn’t, more and more, I didn’t care so much
- Talking to new people began to feel like a fun adventure.
Pretty soon, I had formed a small circle of friends who were inviting me to all sorts of get-togethers.
The uncertainty and self-doubt that had been holding me down for years melted away…
My confidence soared…
- Stop focusing on overnight cures or tricks and gimmicks that just don’t work
- Instead work on the deeper issues like your destructive thinking and behaviors
- Set up a system to regularly think and behave in more empowering ways
I had finally figured it out.
And once I knew the process, I just kept repeating it to gain all the confidence and social skills I wanted.
Even though I wasn’t rich or popular or super charming…
I now had social power and respect.
Because now I knew how to become the truly confident and self-assured person people naturally admire.
I’ll give you a system for doing exactly that in the coming emails.
The beautiful thing is, I still feel the confidence in myself I built back then.
It didn’t fade and it isn’t mysteriously there one day, gone the next.
I mean sure, we all have our good days and bad days…
But I know I can rely on myself to be outgoing in a playful and powerful way when I want to.
We’ll also talk about that more in the next email.
You don’t need to have an impressive lifestyle, be very charismatic or always say interesting things to be well-liked and make tons of new friends.
You just need to build some self-confidence and the right conversation skills.
These two level the playing field socially and cause others to like you despite your deficiencies.
Again, I’ll talk more in the upcoming emails about my system for unlocking lasting confidence and skills.
The kind that bring you new levels of admiration and social charm.
Watch for my next email tomorrow.
Regards,
Dean
P.S. – The lesson I shared in the email above took me years to realize.
Most people get this wrong. They end up wasting years trying to get respect and to belong in all the wrong ways.
You’ve taken a rapid shortcut to gaining real acceptance and social skills by learning this valuable lesson today.
Your freedom stats now.
We’ll take the next step in tomorrow’s email.
Talk soon.
[Part 2] Turning 5 Strangers Into Friends In Just 4 Steps
“They wouldn’t want to talk to me, I’m not good enough for them.”
It’s something most reserved, insecure people have thought at one point or another.
I know I certainly have.
And as we discussed in the previous email, it’s negative, limiting thoughts like this that sap your confidence and cause you to hesitate.
So in this email I’ll show you how to erase it from your mind.
See I always felt different growing up.
I never seemed to fit in.
The stuff most people found important just wasn’t all that interesting to me…
Yet I never wanted to change who I was just to fit in and be accepted.
I didn’t want to be loud and obnoxious just to get noticed.
I mean, I’m a geek and an introvert…
…it’s just who I am.
However, I DID want to be able to talk confidently to anyone in a fun, down-to-earth way.
I wanted to be able to turn casual acquaintances into real friends.
This hit home for me more than ever a couple years ago while visiting with a good friend.
I was waiting for him to meet up with me at a local pub.
He texted and said he’d be later than expected.
So instead of sitting there alone playing on my phone, I struck up a conversation with the guy next to me at the bar.
I didn’t use any “super ninja” social skills to do it either.
His drink was brown with green leaves in it, so I asked about it.
He said it was a Mint Julep.
So I said something like…
“Ooh yeah, those are good. Haven’t had one in a while. Y’know what though? I’ve come to appreciate whiskey a whole lot more in the last year or so…”
From there we just continued talking, flowing from one topic to the next.
When my friend arrived 45 minutes later…
…me, Nathan (that’s the guy I started talking to) and a group of 4 other random guys and gals were sharing stories and cracking up together.
My friend asked how I knew everyone.
I told him we’d all just met.
He just gave a short laugh, shook his head and replied, “Damn, I could have sworn you knew them for years.”
We all hung out together for most of the night.
When my friend and I were leaving the bar later, he asked, “How do you do that with people? You make it look easy.”
I explained to him the system I’d used to build confidence and people skills in myself.
And how even though I’d done it all a while back, it still allowed me talk to people with ease and charm.
His eyes got wide and he started to smile.
I have to admit, I felt pretty good about myself that day.
My friend is now a charismatic, outgoing guy in his own right.
But he’s single and I have a girlfriend…
So let’s just say he’s pretty busy with the ladies these days. (Haha, sorry to call you out C ;)
So how do you start?
How do you go from just beginning to think and act more positively like we discussed last email…
…to talking confidently with people, and in places, you once felt paralyzed?
Years ago I DID have major trouble in most social gatherings.
And I wanted to get better in them.
I wanted to be able to strike up casual, fun conversations and see where they led…
And I wanted to do this WITHOUT that sickening feeling they just wouldn’t like me.
But at the time, when I’d walk into ANY casual get-together with lots of people…
…a gathering at someone’s house, a bar, a conference…
…and I’d see all those strangers talking to each other…
…I’d get discouraged.
How were you ever supposed to start a conversation here?
I found myself wondering if maybe these people knew each other already.
Maybe that’s why it was so easy for them to talk with each other.
I kept trying to psyche myself up. Telling myself to “just be confident.”
But the confidence never came.
I just couldn’t switch off my nervousness no matter how hard I tried.
Yet rather than continuing to think, “they wouldn’t want to talk to me” and missing out…
I got busy coming up with a plan of how I COULD build confidence.
Two months later, I was having a blast talking to new people all over.
Here’s how I did it…
FIRST, using my new-found system for building lasting confidence, I asked myself what behaviors and thoughts I had in general socially.
SECOND, I looked back over the list of thoughts and behaviors I wrote and singled out the limiting, destructive ones.
Obviously I was thinking people DEFINITELY wouldn’t like me, but there were many more surprising ones I uncovered.
THIRD, I created some positive, empowering behaviors and thoughts to combat the negative ones.
FOURTH, I gradually started including this new thinking and behavior into my social interactions.
Within days, my friends were seeing me in a whole new light.
And within weeks, it was much easier to talk with strangers in a fun, casual way.
Keep in mind though, this didn’t happen instantly.
…or that you can psyche yourself up to be confident.
You can’t.
It’s a process that takes just a little time.
That’s why the fourth step above includes the word “gradually.”
See, I didn’t START using my new thinking and skills in bars for example.
That would have been too nerve-wracking.
No instead, I gradually worked my way up to more and more intimidating people.
And like I said, this process I went through years ago still lets me feel confident and outgoing when I want.
Even with strangers.
- Because people sense the confidence I feel and respond much better when I approach.
- And since I’m less nervous, my mind is agile and creative to think up fun, witty things to say.
The confidence and skills I worked on also transferred to other situations.
For example, I found it easier to fit in with my co-workers…
To the point I started getting invites from them to go do things (which had never happened before).
But the best part was…
…Since I finally had a system for building real confidence, I was able to repeat it to become more charismatic in any tough social setting.
In essence, it’s a simple 4-step process:
- Identify all the negative thoughts and behaviors you have in your problem situations
- Create new thinking and behaviors to replace the negative ones
- Gradually use your more empowering social skills first with people you’re comfortable around, THEN with more and more intimidating people.
- Repeat until you can talk easily with those MOST intimidating to you (which usually doesn’t take that long)
It works for any situation you can think of where you have trouble talking or getting noticed.
That’s why I created my Fearless Flow Conversation course. To give you (in detail) this “follow the steps” system that addresses the deeper issues sapping your confidence.
And to install charm and social skills in weeks to months instead of years.
But still, a problem many people run into is getting overwhelmed.
They have too many new social techniques and principles in their head at once.
To the point they feel even more awkward than before.
There’s a very effective way around this that makes getting better socially 10x easier.
I’ll show you what it is in [Part 3].
You’ll get an inside look at one of the actual behaviors I transformed from limiting to empowering…
…And the unique strategy I used to make the process fast and simple. So there was NO overwhelm.
Talk to you soon.
Cheers,
Dean
P.S. – One more thing… the next time you catch yourself saying, “They won’t want to talk to me. I’m not good enough”…
…STOP yourself.
Instead think something like, “There’s no way I can know if they’ll want to talk to me unless I try. Besides, there’s plenty of things I’m good at in life.”
Start the mindset shift now…
Prepare yourself for the process of gaining the super-attractive confidence that’s going to change your life.
[Part 3] How To Unlock Confidence And Flow Without Getting Overwhelmed
They all have it…
The people who come to me for advice already have massive stores of confidence and charm within them.
They just don’t know it at first.

When I first heard from Brett, he suffered anxiety on a daily basis because he wasn’t sure of himself around people. He just needed to unlock his confidence…
By following my step-by-step system for building true lasting confidence and conversation flow, they’ve gone from insecure socially to more bold and outgoing.
But I’m getting ahead of myself…
When most students come to me, they’re just overwhelmed.
Usually on two fronts…
- They see others who are effortlessly outgoing and well-liked, and they feel discouraged. It seems impossible to compare to those naturals.
- They’ve tried other advice and now feel more confused. There’s just so many techniques, they’re too “in their head” socially and get paralyzed.
The reason people struggle like this is because…
Because the people giving the advice have never been through shyness and insecurity themselves.
So when shy, reserved, insecure people find my instruction, they’re often surprised how it’s totally different than other approaches.
- Because I don’t suggest you learn 101 different conversation techniques – that just overwhelms you with too much in your head at once.
- I also don’t have you start by approaching 10 strangers on the street – That’s asking you to step too far out of your comfort zone too quickly and sets you up to fail.
Instead, I get my students to focus on a limited number of specific, actionable exercises.
Exercises designed to gradually push their comfort zones and build confidence.
Below is an example of one of these exercises you can try yourself.
What I want you to notice is how it combines the principles of addressing your limiting thinking while also building essential skills.
One of the many social exercises I have my students do is called Speaking First Thoughts.
It’s designed to counter the limiting behaviors of thinking too much about what to say and suppressing what they say.
See, those of us who feel insecure socially crave for others to like us…
So we search for the right things to say.
Things that are interesting or witty.
Yet by having such high expectations of what needs to come out our mouth, nothing ever seems good enough.
- We keep spinning our wheels searching for those perfect words.
- We think up stuff we could talk about, but hold back thinking it’s not good enough.
Look, there is no such thing as the “right thing to say.”
Social naturals don’t over-think what they say.
They just say the first things that come to their mind.
That’s good enough and it prompts the person they’re talking with to respond.
Which then gives the social natural MORE stuff to talk about.
- When you think too much about what to say you seem hesitant.
- Always trying to say the “right” thing makes you predictable and bland.
- When you hold back what you think, others don’t get to know you.
So this exercise works against all that.
First, you want to recognize those times you’re over-thinking or suppressing what you’re thinking of saying.
Then instead, speak the first thoughts that come to your mind in the moment.
A student of mine working on this exercise said he met a girl at a charity event.
They started talking about what they each did and she said she was an RN at a hospital.
He said his first thought was something like…
I don’t know much about RN’s. Just that they always wear scrubs. I don’t think I could wear scrubs every day.
He immediately felt this was a stupid thing to say and began to think up something else.
But realizing he was doing this, he pushed through and said his first thoughts.
He said…
“I don’t know much about RN’s to be honest. I just don’t think I could wear scrubs every day.”
The girl laughed and said…
“Actually it’s not bad. You don’t have to put any thought into what you’re wearing every morning. So it makes things easy.”
Speaking your first thoughts like this often works better since it’s more raw and authentic.
Because you’re not focusing on a technique…
…you’re just focusing on being real.
Yet remember it’s not only about changing your behaviors…
It’s also about changing your thinking.
Often the reason we hesitate to talk is because we’re thinking something like:
I hear this type of mindset all the time from those who seek my advice.
Yet all of my Fearless Flow Conversation System students have the ability in them to flow while talking.
The problem is they don’t realize their own worth.
And they haven’t practiced flowing enough.
If they just follow the steps I outline, boom! Their effortless flow starts to appear.
So instead of thinking the negative thoughts above, repeat this mantra to yourself:
Also, when my students do this, I encourage them to start with people they’re already comfortable around.
THEN move on to more intimidating people later.
That keeps them from feeling paralyzed.
I can tell ya, when I first started doing this exercise, I felt so free.
Because I began to see how simple conversations with people could be.
People stopped ignoring me and engaged fully.
My spontaneity increased a great deal too…
The more I worked at saying first thoughts, the faster those thoughts would come.
The more creative and playful they became too.
So I want you to notice how specific the exercise above is…
It’s not overwhelming advice like, “Use these 10 techniques in your conversations today.”
No, it has a limited set of actions you’re focusing on at once.
So that makes it much more actionable AND much more likely you’ll see progress.
If you like this step by step, exercise-based approach to building TRUE confidence and social skills… my new Fearless Flow Conversation System might be for you.
It’s aim is simple…
To install in you approach who you want confidence and natural social skills…
…without all the self-doubt and without the overwhelm of typical conversation courses.
AND to do it in weeks to a couple months instead of the years it normally takes.
It’s the same system I used to melt away my shyness and insecurity. And it’s helped many others to do the same.
But don’t take my word for it…
Hi Dean. I’m currently listening to Fearless Flow and the topics you discuss certainly resonate with me more than any other online tutorial / self help programme. I’m a happy customer and I know I’ll benefit from your extensive research and advice. The main emotion I’m feeling at the moment is relief – relief that you actually understand how I feel in social situations and when I’m alone.”
– Sarah S.
Fearless Flow is a 6+ hour audio course that uses my Perception Patterning Method to destroy the deeper issues (limiting beliefs) causing your social insecurity…
So you can radiate a powerful confidence people will sense and respect.
And it does this through simple, step by step exercises (some of which you do alone at home).
Just check off the exercises as you go and watch your charisma and social skills soar.
I’m currently offering a special discounted offer on the Fearless Flow Conversation System that I’m making available to you as a “thank you” for following me this far.
It’s only available to you as an email subscriber that I value very much.
However, the offer lasts for a few days only, after which time it will go back to full price…
Time Left:
If you have enjoyed this email series, you won’t want to miss this special offer!
I’m often asked what the secret is to becoming charming.
Well, the secret of my most successful students is:
- They actually sought out a mentor (me) for help instead of just hoping things would get better
- They followed the advice I gave them to the letter
- They actually took action toward the confidence and social life of their dreams
- They kept going even when they got discouraged
It has changed lives.
The Fearless Flow System is set up to uncover and tap into your own gold mine of confidence like it has for me and others.
This is my mission: To create as many confidence success stories as I can.
Now it’s your turn…
…28 days from today, I’d love to hear about YOUR success story of going from too quiet to confident, outgoing and popular.
Click here now to discover and join the system used by my students and based on psychology that’s helped 1000s.
I look forward to taking the journey with you.
Dean
P.S. – Time left before 30% Discount on Fearless Flow goes away:
Click Here For Details About Fearless Flow
…AND register before the price goes back up.